Today I continue my Cross Blog Conversation with Alyssa Avant. See Alyssa’s response to my last question on her blog. In this installment of our conversation, Alyssa asks me this:

“Amy, I know you have older children. Do they all have cell phones? How do they play into your communication with your children?”

I had three children, Alyssa and they are 11, 19, and 24. They all have cell phones actually. My oldest is on his own plan. My younger son is on a family plan with me and my daughter, the ‘Tween, has a prepay phone.

Our cell phones are very important to our communication. My older son and I text back and forth all the time and call each other at least once a day. My middle child, the 19 yo, and I communicate solely on the cell phone since he moved out of state with his father. My daughter uses her phone if she goes to a friend’s house to spend the night or when she is outside playing.It is only to call me or her brothers. She knows she is not to be texting or calling her friends and after two months of having a phone, she hasn’t broken that rule.

Some people don’t see the need for ‘Tweens to have a phone, but it has come in very handy more than once. Calling her on her cell is much easier than hollering down the street for her if I need her. She uses maybe 20 minutes a month and it costs me very little.

Alyssa, my question this time for you is this: How do you feel about the laws regarding talking and texting on the phone while driving? Most of us are guilty of talking on the phone while driving sometimes. Do you use a headset and talk while you drive or not talk at all?

You can see Alyssa’s response to this question on her blog.

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With GPS installed in a cell phone, you can track the person using it. This is great for kids; but what about those who want to go a step further than simple GPS? Or, what if you are wanting to use GPS or something else to track your spouse?

I did a Google search with the keywords Cell Phone Spying and got over two million results. I narrowed that down by adding the keyword cheating and got 280,000 results. Is this for real? Unfortunately it is. What’s available includes Software and Hardware.

There is a piece of equipment called The Cell Phone Spy that looks similar to an external memory stick with a usb port. This device allows you to read information off a SIM card from anyone’s phone. It can even read deleted text messages. It also can read anything on the SIM card such as previous numbers dialed and contact information. If it is still on the SIM card and has not been overwritten, then it is retrievable.

This little spying device’s cost? Around $149. However, I found a similar reader on Amazon for six dollars! It is promoted as a device for backing up your phone or for personal use, not spying, although that is why I put in to search.

You can also get software which is uploaded to the phone and enables even more extensive spying. This company has software for any Windows Mobile based phone. It records both incoming and outgoing calls and text messages (even the deleted ones). The software runs from $49 dollars to much much more.

Beware that spying on someone’s cell phone is usually only legal on someone else’s phone if you have their permission. If you own the phone, you are usually within your rights. Now, I’m not sure how good this is since if it was your phone why would you spy on it? It seems it is the kid’s or spouse’s phones you do that with. In that case, then it’s illegal and you CAN be prosecuted.

So I guess the question really is, how badly do you need or want to know this information? Is your teenager acting really suspicious and are you worried about their well-being? Do you suspect your spouse/lover of cheating? Would it be worth it to find out the possible truth?

If you really insist on doing this spying, check with the laws in your state first. Also, remember keeping the communication lines open should be your first resort, not your last. Just my .02.

photo credit: ydhsu

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I don’t even have internet on my phone; I can’t imagine how I would be phone dependent if I did. I just like knowing I can be reached or reach someone else no matter where I go. If I go out of range of my cell, I am not happy about it.

Knowing this, am I really surprised that my teenage son feels the same way? He wants to be reachable 24/7. He takes his phone everywhere. They allow cell phones at school here as long as kids don’t use them during classes while work is being done.

Between that and his computer at home and video games, it’s a miracle if he sees sunshine on the weekends.

I was wondering how healthy this is? To be so connected all the time. I read a news article, about kids hesitating on going to summer camp because they can’t take their cell phones. That seems like a real shame to me. It also makes me happy that my eleven year old doesn’t have a phone yet. The more we give kids technology, the less they want to play. One article pointed out that parents get nervous too when they can’t contact their kids whenever they like. They also said it would be good for any age to unplug for a while and have some fun.

The thing is, how can I tell my children about disconnecting and just being unfettered from electronics and cell phones when I stay glued to my laptop and my cell? What kind of example am I setting?

After considering this problem, I’ve decided to make a point this summer to get outdoors more with my kids without any devices. I want to just use my phone as a means of communication when I really need it and not as a permanent appendage. I plan on setting a great example for my children for at least the summer months and giving technology a bit of a break.

I browsed around on Amazon and I found this book about cell phones impact on our society. You should check it out.

What about you? Do you want to join my summer challenge? Will you take some of your free time and just spend it without being tuned in all the time. Let me know how you feel about this.

photo credit: teresawer

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“Sexting” is sending nude or partially nude photos through one’s cell phone.

According to recent reports, 1 in 5 teens do this. What are the top two reasons they do it? They do it because they say it is fun. Many teenage girls also send these pics to their boyfriends as a sexy present.

Depending on the age of the person, it can be considered child pornography. Parents are in an outrage over this issue and rightly so. I don’t believe these kids realize what happens when digital images are sent out and how far they can travel. Not only that, but it is illegal.

In Ohio, state law says that anyone taking or sending nude pictures of a minor can be jailed on a felony and have to register as a sex offender. This includes teens under 18 sending pics of each other.

So, what do you do about this growing trend? How do you handle this with your own teenagers? Do you have controls on their phones which allow you to see everything they are doing already? Or do you simply monitor their phones periodically?

What about the issues of privacy and trust? Do you feel it is an invasion of their privacy to read through all their texts? Parents are very divided on this issue. Many parents simply do not believe their children would ever do that and yet this trend is spreading like wildfire. Scary, inappropriate wildfire.

I’ve asked people on Facebook and Twitter and also asked my friends about monitoring their children’s texting. The majority seem to think it is worth the risk of invasion of privacy.  Safety seems to be worth that risk. What about kids being sneaky though and doing it anyway and deleting the offending texts?

I guess the only thing we can do is educate, educate, educate and hope for the best and pray for the best. All we can do is tell them about the dangers and the law. That and keep doing random cell phone checks? I think so.

Amazon has a book you might find interesting about children and texting.

photo credit: r.f.m II

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